i wrote most of this in my notes application last night at 1 a.m. ~ a very generous and expensive sippy cup that wine at the lindsay buckingham concert. It was my 2nd concert in near to 2 years, however the very first one whereby i was truly earlier in my element: lowering the average age and also making advertise merch purchases. But anyway! the reason you’re obtaining this is because it was additionally the very first time that ns felt compelled come write about music in months, and the millionth time i’ve felt compelled to write, when again, about two of its best messy bitches for whom i have a long and complex love, prefer a kid captured in between feuding divorced parents. Who knows if the works! that sippy cup the wine obtained to me!

okay great, another an extremely welcoming and promising intro, carrie, method to go!!!

okay thanks sorry love u bye


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Lindsey Buckingham is drawing out every syllable of “Never Going ago Again” so lot he almost doubles the song’s original jaunty length. On a stage in brand-new York, cultivating a brand-new album in 2021 by singing a song first made famous in 1977, he starts the opened licks in a manner the is so slow and decided and cautious they would be unrecognizable at first to many casual fans. And when the group erupts in loud cheers—easily the many deafening the the evening for this reason far—he looks upwards, and I can’t tell if it’s trying to find the grace to sing something pains or if that an uncomfortable eye roll captured midway, letting his displeasure display that this is the tune they scream loudest for. Lindsay Buckingham has supported several solo albums in the shadow of Fleetwood Mac, however this could be the one time the looms so huge it can not be ignored.

You are watching: Been down one time been down two times

“Never Going ago Again” is a sad song that thinks it’s a happy one, i m sorry is perhaps the most tragic type of sad song. Maybe in 1977 Buckingham truly believed in the naive rebound text he wrote. Possibly he really thought if he made his fingerpicking vulnerable enough, made his voice nice enough, he really was over and done v repeating the very same mistakes the made before with his (very famous) ex and also onto something as bright and also promising together the melody he to be playing. Yet songs are just a moment’s feelings captured and preserved in acetate forever. Like any an excellent songwriter quiet lucky enough to be play their decades-old occupational today, Buckingham to know what happened after, not just in the immediate however in the fourty years the followed. That knows all the feelings, the limitless cycle of fights and also reconciliations that have actually followed, and also he does small to hide it.

The “Never Going ago Again” of today is not a pop-y tune of triumph, of pulling you yourself up and out that a low duration and setting out on a brand-new path once and for all, not also close. It’s a tune laced with the load of regrets and also faults. Buckingham drags “where i have been” come agonizing lengths, lets his voice fade out favor a whisper—only for it to climb with righteous anger as he shouts “been down one time, to be down two times.” he’s been down several an ext times than twice, certainly, and also there are no happy memory there. Or maybe there are, and that’s why that stings every the more. Every various other line then complies with softly, sadly, until the resigned sigh the “I’m never going ago again.” that has, and also would, go ago in a heartbeat if asked, and also he to know that. It’s nearly too cold for me come watch; it feels wrong to clap at the end. The audience offers it a stand ovation. Buckingham has actually been on stage for at least an hour. It’s the an initial of the night.

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To be a lindsey Buckingham pan is to hold credible allegations of his being a negative Man in one hand through the perhaps Not bad Man he is this day in the other. In recent years, I have made straightforward decisions around artists i have disliked and challenging ones about artists I have loved. I’ve welcomed this look earlier at the past, at the females who have actually been hurt or harmed to varying degrees by the misogynistic instrument of rock and roll. I’ve played a part in it, even. For years now, I have asked myself come revisit and reconsider every the guys whose voices to fill my headphones—not just the ones experience public scrutiny—bracing myself come be heartbroken or angry about their depictions of women, or their stealing from black artists, or their political views. So why has actually Lindsey Buckingham escaped the cancel culture of my brain?

Maybe I’m trying to find something more, something so damning and unforgivable that can justify breaking my attachment, could give me the unequivocal authorize to to walk away. As soon as I speak I think women, does that mean I am a hypocrite for still having questions, because that finding plot holes in the remembrances the drug-hazy fights? when I say I believe women, why carry out I half-write off backstage altercations whereby everyone was high out of their minds together “not okay, but just just how it was earlier then”? Is that wrong for me to question the accuracy of unauthorized biographies written by males with no stake in the game, guys who recognize that salaciousness sells? Memories room not immune come warping facts, however the feelings regularly remain true; salaciousness is never ever 100 percent fiction; and drugs aren’t ever before an excuse because that an adult’s harmful behavior. I know this. I think women, and I think in holding world accountable for your actions. However I additionally have to think in redemption.

I’m so exhausted of talking around cancel culture. The thread has slipped away so that even the parts of it that can be an excellent have become muddied, the intention watch lost. We’re so fast to cancel these days—which, hey, i get! the easy, the clean, it feels good. However what gets shed is the more complicated and challenging matter of just how we decide that is held accountable for their actions and ultimately forgiven, that is enabled a 2nd chance, and what that looks like.

We do so numerous exceptions for males we speak to geniuses, nothing we? They room ones that, many of the time, come with human being (often various other men) imploring united state to separate the arts from the artist, to usage a excellent or prolific imaginative output together a method to justify looking past personal behavior. Ns am not among those people. I don’t believe you can separate arts from artist, an especially when it comes to something as deeply personal as songwriting. The clues are right there in the text. Which is why I prefer to think Buckingham is one of the better Guys, among the males who have atoned for their past sins, grown up and gotten themselves on the course to betterhood. I perform not think the is guilt-free of any type of wrongdoings, nor carry out I think he is a new man; I do not think any kind of person, particularly one through the ego forced to become and also maintain a stature that celebrity, is capable of completely ridding us of their asshole past. (You don’t need to look much further than this push circuit at things he’s said unkindly or unskillfully; even if the petty tiny passive aggressive digs that come native a location of hurt room not as savage together they would have remained in the past, they still leaving a negative taste.) over there are constraints to gift a critic, of course, come not learning personally all the parties involved; i’ll never understand the full story. Yet I like to think, indigenous the psychobabble the sprinkles in between songs top top stage and also in interviews and the text of the song themselves—which in recent years have become full that longings and regrets, vulnerabilities and also apologies—that he is among the few who has done the work. All of which might be performative in part aspect, that course. Perhaps Buckingham, like plenty of artists, find it less complicated to be fragile in publicly settings, supplying up apologies come a room full of strangers instead of privately, straight to the world they are met for. Maybe some clever publicist offered him self assist talking points precious repeating in public. Maybe we’re all just suckers for a rigid that has actually been written long back and only more committed to as time has moved on.

Maybe lindsey Buckingham does not deserve my forgiveness. He would not it is in the very first person I offered it to who was no worthy of it. Maybe it is not even my ar to offer it to start with.

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Lindsey Buckingham is cultivating a new solo album—a very an excellent one, at that—but there’s still the pesky bit about his famous firing native Fleetwood Mac to attend to in virtually every interview. It’s been three and a half years, but the aftershocks linger. The hoax is the no matter just how rapidly and drastically the people changes, the one continuous you can count top top is that, at any given moment, 2 members the Fleetwood Mac hate each other. It supplied to it is in a lot of funnier. Now it’s just—like the 2 members most often at war—old, and also a little bit sad.

“It’s unfortunate that Lindsey has chosen to tell a revisionist history of what transpired in 2018 through Fleetwood Mac,” Stevie Nicks claimed in a push statement responding to Buckingham’s recent slate the interviews. “His variation of events is factually inaccurate, and also while i have never talked publicly top top the matter, preferring to not air dirty laundry, definitely it feels the time has pertained to shine a light on the truth.”

It certainly caught my attention, this accusation of modification history, of turn the narrative this way, together if they haven’t both been doing that for the previous 50 years, together if she hasn’t to be guilty herself of law the exact same thing. I could (and practically did) compose a book about the ways in i beg your pardon their story have adjusted and become increasingly sanitized over the past decade. This is no unusual; almost every boomer absent star is doing the in part way. Your is the very first generation of musician to contend with and craft their own legacies while they room still living.1 In the search to self-mythologize, over there is a propensity to gloss over the ugliest components of rock history, all the sex and drugs component of that that prospered to be much more gore than glamour, to repaint yourself together someone who has overcome battle without detailing the struggle too deeply, because what matters more is the you are currently reformed and, over all else, palatable for a wide range of audiences. In the era that standom in which we deify celebrities simply as regularly as we cancel them, we have forgotten the it is possible to be both a fan and also a critic, come love someone enough to respectfully disagree through them. If Stevie Nicks and her PR team want to protect against airing dirty to wash in donate of fashioning her as the Disney princess the rock and also roll, that’s she business. I can’t speak it doesn’t make me sad—I find the roughest and most unfiltered components of her life, the ones she currently seeks to minimize to one anecdote or airbrush over, the many compelling and humanizing—but I know why she wouldn’t want to revisit lock in detail, and why we space not entitled to she pain or she shame. We space not even entitled to seeing her truly candid and unpolished. But I can’t help but feel choose something gets shed in the revisionist background meant to keep her tradition in a very specific, regulated light.

Stevie Nicks has actually every best to falsify her very own life, however she has no best to falsify history, i beg your pardon is what happens as soon as the narrative gets revised. The gets easier to fashion yourself as the triumphant survivor, to conveniently leaving out components of stories that nothing fit anymore, the persons that carry out not absolve you of some negative behavior yourself, to set the scene through a clean villain and a clear victim-turned-hero. But background is not black and white. Background is grey matter. Background is two civilization with dueling egos behaving badly, two people finding redemption, and two civilization (and Irv Azoff) in the trenches the the consequences together, pulling the puppet strings of windy persona through white knuckled grips.

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It’s a Thursday night in new York and the weather is hovering at such a perfect 72 level mark that once I gain off the short train ride house I walk because that another fifty percent an hour. Ns am playing a live version of Buckingham’s “Shut united state Down” ~ above repeat and walking aimlessly, circling blocks, thinking about agency and around legacy.

Loving lindsay Buckingham and Stevie Nicks is exhausting, and I am so exhausted of making joke equating gift a pan of your to gift a trapped son of divorce. I’m worn down of questioning myself if ns forgive him, tired of questioning myself if i agree with the persona and narrative Stevie Nicks currently perpetuates. I’m worn down of the teenage dramatics the two civilization who have actually known every other due to the fact that they were teens but now in your seventh te still unable to avoid pushing buttons, still can not to bury the hatchet and let their history and the points they love outweigh those which castle hate. Ns wish I might just listen to their music free of any backstory, yet no one has ever been able to perform that. Not once it was very first made, and also certainly no now.

They know that lock are never going to prevent going earlier again, never going to stop poking in ~ the ashes of your relationship, the still-burning embers the which prosper fewer and also fewer each time castle return. And I will certainly follow them, curious to discover out what wake up next. We’ll go under one time, 2 times, and many more, and each time will certainly be a difficulty to reassess and readjust what ns think. The documents will never ever change, at the very least not technically, but they will, and also so will I. The actions can be repetitive, the narrative might twist, however at least it will never be boring.

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